found it!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim~

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarkatuh~

I've found what I've been searching for.And I understand that sacrifice is what I need to do.It takes time <--that's what I was told by this one ukhti.And I agree.It can be that instant when You said it's zero.and you said you don't have it anymore.But there are times when it comes back.but I tried to be strong and firm with my decision.And so that I'm strong and consisitently with that state.So I'm doing this.."I've got to be cruel..to be kind"..well,easy said than done.

And I'm serching that tranquility when I'm back to kelantan..haha..macam bawa rasa hati saja..haha.How much I wanna stay..I can't..